A Marvelous take on Anniversary Armageddon
Jul 26, 2019 18:42:22 GMT -8
Joshua Samson, ESQ likes this
Post by marvelousmikemason on Jul 26, 2019 18:42:22 GMT -8
The Marvelous One is admiring his percolating pectoralis as he crushes some low cable flies. His massive pecks have a pump that gives him cleavage even Stasi Herveaux would envy. TM1 holds the handles together at the end of his fly and examines the veins that begin to pop up on his chest.
The Titan had to come to his west coast home of Golds Gym in Venice Beach. It is only fitting that The Mecca of Manhood works out at the Mecca of Bodybuilding. TM1 releaes the handles and let's the weights slam with a giant clang. No lunk alarms here, like your Dad-Bod loving Planet Fitness. You know the gym that people who don't really workout but like to say they go to the gym are members of. A gym for guys like Mark Storm and Brandon Vega.
The Big Natty Daddy pulls his tank top off and begins to pop his pecks back and forth, looking even more fabulous than Arnold in Predator. The Marvelous One is interrupted though as he notices the camera and Butterscotch Monroe coming up behind him.
Butterscotch Monroe: Excuse me, Mr. Mason.
Sorry, not interested darling.
Excuse me?
TM1 cuts her off, holding up his hand and waiving it in her face.
Sorry darling, I only handle eights and above. I'm sure in your younger days you could have turned my head, but age hasn't been kind to you. You're a solid six now.
Ummm, what?
I'm sure you aren't used to getting turned down, but sorrty honey. I knew the rats would come flocking when I got to Cali, but unfortunately for you, the Marvelous One has high standards.
Butterscotch looks incredibly offended. At first she considers leaving, but decides to set the record straight and get what she came for.
Um, no. I'm Butterscotch Monroe, interviewer for Iconic Pro Wrestling. I was sent here to get some of your thoughts on Anniversary Armageddon.
Oh, sorry, I don't make a habit of learning the names and faces of the help.
Butterscotch once again looks incredibly offended, but stays the course.
I can tell you however that Anniversary Armageddon is going to be simply Marvelous. It's going to start out with the most amazing physic in not just Iconic Pro Wrestling, but in all of professional wrestling. My pure perfection alone drives people crazy. I have to say this though, don't be jealous, be motivated. I know not everybody can have a body like me, but you all can have a better body. Stasi, get a tan. Headhunters, take a shower and get a hair cut. Raab, get those ears fixed. It's not an insult guys, it's a suggestion on how to look better.
So, obviously you think your match is going to be amazing, but do you have any thoughts on the rest of the event? Or, do you just want to be everyone's personal trainer?
Oh yeah, I have a lot of thought on Anniversary Armageddon, like I think the main event is going to suck.
Excuse me? The main event, the triple threat match for the IPW heavyweight championship?
Yeah, I mean it is the main event... shouldn't it be marvelous? Just look at the competitors in this match. First, Brady Vega, five foot nine, one hundred and seventy three pounds... how is that shrimp competing for the heavyweight championship? He isn't even close to a heavyweight, maybe if he spent more time in the gym and less time trying to be a mumble rapper he could bulk up a little.
Brady Vega talks a big game, but I've seen little punks like him time and time again. Brady runs off at the mouth... A LOT. Brady, I know your type. Loud as a motor bike, but you couldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight. Lay off the shrooms and the other chemicals, and join the rest of us here in reality. Maybe even join me in the gym sometime, and start ingesting hemp protein, instead of hemp buds.
The Mecca of Manhood starts popping his pecks again, and Butterscotch begins starring at them. The Titan smiles and puts his hand under Monroes chin and slowly lifts her head up to look him in the eye as he stops flexing his pectoralis.
My eyes are up here sweetheart. Now, as bad as Brady Vega's body is, don't get me started on Mr. Dad-Bod Mark Storm. Sorry, but my hero isn't going to be pasty and have love handles. Storm likes to boast about his resume, but that doesn't impress me one bit. Do you see my bragging about being a former two time Mr. Olympia? Or a former NCAA national champion in football? No, because I'm a bit more modest than Mark Storm.
Mark, his parents got his first name right, because the guy is a giant mark for himself. Claiming former championships in professional wrestling now a days, doesn't impress me. You could beat Jim Bob in your Uncle Tony's backyard on a trampoline and call it a world championship. You want to impress me, well that isn't possible, but if you want me to believe you are a world champion let me see you do it on a big stage and do it by defeating someone relevant. If he wins at Anniversary Armageddon, I'll think a little bit more of him. When he loses though... well, it's not like I could think any less of Mark Storm, and it will only prove my point about him.
So, I take it your pick to win the IPW heavyweight championship is Phoenix Ryker.
The Big Natty Daddy is shocked by this assumption and actually laughs at it.
NO! You shouldn't make assumptions Butterscotch, it only makes an ass out of you. I'm not backing Phoenix Ryker in this match either. I've got a feeling he is all show and no go. I mean sure, he looks the best on paper, but it's pretty easy to be ripped at two hundred and ten pounds. I've got sixty five pounds on Ryker, and way more definition.
Also, he comes out to Drake, and Drake sucks. Terrible taste in music, not enough muscle mass, and some terrible tattoos, come on, you really think someone like that is going to be the icon of Iconic.
Butterscotch looks a little confused, and it shows in her voice.
So, then who do you think is going to win the main event at Anniversary Armageddon?
I honestly don't know, and I honestly don't care. I mean they are all losers in my book. And the fans, oh those poor IPW fans... they have to sit through that match.
You know the main event of Anniversary Armageddon, the fans of IPW, the members of IPW, and the IPW heavyweight championships... they all deserve something much... more... Marvelous.
The Mecca of Manhood flashes a big smile with his beautiful white and straight teeth as the scene fades out.
The Titan had to come to his west coast home of Golds Gym in Venice Beach. It is only fitting that The Mecca of Manhood works out at the Mecca of Bodybuilding. TM1 releaes the handles and let's the weights slam with a giant clang. No lunk alarms here, like your Dad-Bod loving Planet Fitness. You know the gym that people who don't really workout but like to say they go to the gym are members of. A gym for guys like Mark Storm and Brandon Vega.
The Big Natty Daddy pulls his tank top off and begins to pop his pecks back and forth, looking even more fabulous than Arnold in Predator. The Marvelous One is interrupted though as he notices the camera and Butterscotch Monroe coming up behind him.
Butterscotch Monroe: Excuse me, Mr. Mason.
Sorry, not interested darling.
Excuse me?
TM1 cuts her off, holding up his hand and waiving it in her face.
Sorry darling, I only handle eights and above. I'm sure in your younger days you could have turned my head, but age hasn't been kind to you. You're a solid six now.
Ummm, what?
I'm sure you aren't used to getting turned down, but sorrty honey. I knew the rats would come flocking when I got to Cali, but unfortunately for you, the Marvelous One has high standards.
Butterscotch looks incredibly offended. At first she considers leaving, but decides to set the record straight and get what she came for.
Um, no. I'm Butterscotch Monroe, interviewer for Iconic Pro Wrestling. I was sent here to get some of your thoughts on Anniversary Armageddon.
Oh, sorry, I don't make a habit of learning the names and faces of the help.
Butterscotch once again looks incredibly offended, but stays the course.
I can tell you however that Anniversary Armageddon is going to be simply Marvelous. It's going to start out with the most amazing physic in not just Iconic Pro Wrestling, but in all of professional wrestling. My pure perfection alone drives people crazy. I have to say this though, don't be jealous, be motivated. I know not everybody can have a body like me, but you all can have a better body. Stasi, get a tan. Headhunters, take a shower and get a hair cut. Raab, get those ears fixed. It's not an insult guys, it's a suggestion on how to look better.
So, obviously you think your match is going to be amazing, but do you have any thoughts on the rest of the event? Or, do you just want to be everyone's personal trainer?
Oh yeah, I have a lot of thought on Anniversary Armageddon, like I think the main event is going to suck.
Excuse me? The main event, the triple threat match for the IPW heavyweight championship?
Yeah, I mean it is the main event... shouldn't it be marvelous? Just look at the competitors in this match. First, Brady Vega, five foot nine, one hundred and seventy three pounds... how is that shrimp competing for the heavyweight championship? He isn't even close to a heavyweight, maybe if he spent more time in the gym and less time trying to be a mumble rapper he could bulk up a little.
Brady Vega talks a big game, but I've seen little punks like him time and time again. Brady runs off at the mouth... A LOT. Brady, I know your type. Loud as a motor bike, but you couldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight. Lay off the shrooms and the other chemicals, and join the rest of us here in reality. Maybe even join me in the gym sometime, and start ingesting hemp protein, instead of hemp buds.
The Mecca of Manhood starts popping his pecks again, and Butterscotch begins starring at them. The Titan smiles and puts his hand under Monroes chin and slowly lifts her head up to look him in the eye as he stops flexing his pectoralis.
My eyes are up here sweetheart. Now, as bad as Brady Vega's body is, don't get me started on Mr. Dad-Bod Mark Storm. Sorry, but my hero isn't going to be pasty and have love handles. Storm likes to boast about his resume, but that doesn't impress me one bit. Do you see my bragging about being a former two time Mr. Olympia? Or a former NCAA national champion in football? No, because I'm a bit more modest than Mark Storm.
Mark, his parents got his first name right, because the guy is a giant mark for himself. Claiming former championships in professional wrestling now a days, doesn't impress me. You could beat Jim Bob in your Uncle Tony's backyard on a trampoline and call it a world championship. You want to impress me, well that isn't possible, but if you want me to believe you are a world champion let me see you do it on a big stage and do it by defeating someone relevant. If he wins at Anniversary Armageddon, I'll think a little bit more of him. When he loses though... well, it's not like I could think any less of Mark Storm, and it will only prove my point about him.
So, I take it your pick to win the IPW heavyweight championship is Phoenix Ryker.
The Big Natty Daddy is shocked by this assumption and actually laughs at it.
NO! You shouldn't make assumptions Butterscotch, it only makes an ass out of you. I'm not backing Phoenix Ryker in this match either. I've got a feeling he is all show and no go. I mean sure, he looks the best on paper, but it's pretty easy to be ripped at two hundred and ten pounds. I've got sixty five pounds on Ryker, and way more definition.
Also, he comes out to Drake, and Drake sucks. Terrible taste in music, not enough muscle mass, and some terrible tattoos, come on, you really think someone like that is going to be the icon of Iconic.
Butterscotch looks a little confused, and it shows in her voice.
So, then who do you think is going to win the main event at Anniversary Armageddon?
I honestly don't know, and I honestly don't care. I mean they are all losers in my book. And the fans, oh those poor IPW fans... they have to sit through that match.
You know the main event of Anniversary Armageddon, the fans of IPW, the members of IPW, and the IPW heavyweight championships... they all deserve something much... more... Marvelous.
The Mecca of Manhood flashes a big smile with his beautiful white and straight teeth as the scene fades out.
