Post by Joshua Samson, ESQ on Feb 8, 2019 11:12:40 GMT -8
*Ring Ring*
“Yeah?”
“Mr. Samson? It’s Naeva… um… Daveena. You always said that when you’re not staying there to keep an eye on the house. Well I just thought that it was in Astrid’s, well yours too, best interest to tell you she’s here and sir… it’s not pretty. She’s gone on a destructive path and quite frankly, I’m concerned for the house as well as her wellbeing.”
“This is who?”
“Daveena. You hired me to be the bodyguard for your wife in EHWF when it came to a Killjoy. I live next door to your Dana Point house.”
“Listen...*hiccup*...David, you’re not supposed to call here. I’ve had my number on the no-call registry for years now.”
“My ring name is Daveena, my real name is Naeva and I am an employee of yours. Besides, everyone knows the no-call registry was just a ploy for them to get your number anyway. I’m trying to tell you that your wife is smashing the shit out of everything you that’s at your Dana Point house. I went in to do a welfare check and there’s broken glass and all sorts of stuff all over the bottom floor of your home.”
A sigh can be heard from Daveena.
“But I can tell you’re drunk right now so this probably isn’t registering.”
“My wife. My wife? Hmm, *hiccup* I don’t think I have a wife right now. My wife is probably somewhere getting raw dogged, because she’s a stone cold freak like that, or getting chick licked by her ‘frenemy’. Can you imagine that shit? She can have ANYTHING in the fucking world from me yet *hiccup* what does she do? Huh? Tell me…”
“You obviously don’t know as much about your wife as you think you do. I’ve been there for each and every single show since you initially hired me so we’ve gotten to talking quite a number of times though in regards to this, she’s just told me to fuck off. But what I do know is that Astrid is the most loyal person that I’ve known. All she’s ever talked about is you and how she wanted to be the best wife possible after what you went through with the first one. I don’t know all the nitty gritty details, but I do know that right now you’re afraid… afraid that she’s going to hurt you the way that Killjoy did. She begged, pleaded for help the other day from you and you were too blinded by anger or whatever to see. You even fabricated some bullshit lie about her cheating on you. You’re right… she can have everything from you but when she wanted something, you ran off to Vegas for ‘boys night’. You broke her all because you don’t know how to handle her when she gets like this. You two made it through before but why run this time? How do you expect her to get better when you shove her down and make her situation worse? But no… no you’re wife is not off doing whatever abhorrent things your drunken mind is coming up with right now because I have been keeping an eye on her. She’s either sleeping or crying, there’s been no inbetween for the last couple of days. I was lucky enough yesterday to get in there while she was sleeping and clean up all the broken glass, mopping up all the alcohol that had become sticky on the floors. You know she hasn’t eaten since the night she arrived? And given her past history with stress induced anorexia… something you know VERY well about… I’m worried even more.”
“You know what….I want to *hiccup* talk to your *hiccup* boss. I only wanted an order of *hiccup* hashbrowns with diced onions and jalapeno peppers. Can you handle that, Pizza Hut?!”
“Mr. Samson, you are my boss and I’m pretty sure Pizza Hut doesn’t serve hashbrowns.”
“Well as you boss I demand……..”
Silence ensues until snoring can be heard.
“These two are a hot fuckin’ mess…”
*CLICK*
Daveena
“Yeah?”
“Mr. Samson? It’s Naeva… um… Daveena. You always said that when you’re not staying there to keep an eye on the house. Well I just thought that it was in Astrid’s, well yours too, best interest to tell you she’s here and sir… it’s not pretty. She’s gone on a destructive path and quite frankly, I’m concerned for the house as well as her wellbeing.”
“This is who?”
“Daveena. You hired me to be the bodyguard for your wife in EHWF when it came to a Killjoy. I live next door to your Dana Point house.”
“Listen...*hiccup*...David, you’re not supposed to call here. I’ve had my number on the no-call registry for years now.”
“My ring name is Daveena, my real name is Naeva and I am an employee of yours. Besides, everyone knows the no-call registry was just a ploy for them to get your number anyway. I’m trying to tell you that your wife is smashing the shit out of everything you that’s at your Dana Point house. I went in to do a welfare check and there’s broken glass and all sorts of stuff all over the bottom floor of your home.”
A sigh can be heard from Daveena.
“But I can tell you’re drunk right now so this probably isn’t registering.”
“My wife. My wife? Hmm, *hiccup* I don’t think I have a wife right now. My wife is probably somewhere getting raw dogged, because she’s a stone cold freak like that, or getting chick licked by her ‘frenemy’. Can you imagine that shit? She can have ANYTHING in the fucking world from me yet *hiccup* what does she do? Huh? Tell me…”
“You obviously don’t know as much about your wife as you think you do. I’ve been there for each and every single show since you initially hired me so we’ve gotten to talking quite a number of times though in regards to this, she’s just told me to fuck off. But what I do know is that Astrid is the most loyal person that I’ve known. All she’s ever talked about is you and how she wanted to be the best wife possible after what you went through with the first one. I don’t know all the nitty gritty details, but I do know that right now you’re afraid… afraid that she’s going to hurt you the way that Killjoy did. She begged, pleaded for help the other day from you and you were too blinded by anger or whatever to see. You even fabricated some bullshit lie about her cheating on you. You’re right… she can have everything from you but when she wanted something, you ran off to Vegas for ‘boys night’. You broke her all because you don’t know how to handle her when she gets like this. You two made it through before but why run this time? How do you expect her to get better when you shove her down and make her situation worse? But no… no you’re wife is not off doing whatever abhorrent things your drunken mind is coming up with right now because I have been keeping an eye on her. She’s either sleeping or crying, there’s been no inbetween for the last couple of days. I was lucky enough yesterday to get in there while she was sleeping and clean up all the broken glass, mopping up all the alcohol that had become sticky on the floors. You know she hasn’t eaten since the night she arrived? And given her past history with stress induced anorexia… something you know VERY well about… I’m worried even more.”
“You know what….I want to *hiccup* talk to your *hiccup* boss. I only wanted an order of *hiccup* hashbrowns with diced onions and jalapeno peppers. Can you handle that, Pizza Hut?!”
“Mr. Samson, you are my boss and I’m pretty sure Pizza Hut doesn’t serve hashbrowns.”
“Well as you boss I demand……..”
Silence ensues until snoring can be heard.
“These two are a hot fuckin’ mess…”
*CLICK*
Daveena
